Why Men Ought to Join Women in their Fight Against Patriarchy and Misogyny

    

 The title of this article is, or rather appears to be, ironic and likely upsetting for many women—let alone men. It is as if we are wondering whether to join a rebel leader to topple him out of his comfortable throne. But the truth is that there is nothing wrong about this. Patriarchy, with all its iterations, advocates for men before women insofar as the “superior” men are incongruously caught up and controlled by the very same mechanism and structure. In this structure, they systematically deploy control to maintain their dominance over women. In fact, what seems to be a socio-political system that endows men with so much supremacy, power, and privilege, is also an impeding and restrictive force that confines men’s existence and imprisons them in a series of prearranged gender roles.

Most of the time, men are expected to live up to certain beliefs about what it means to be a man. Man is expected to be the incarnation of power, dominance, courage, rationality, intelligence, governance, responsibility, serious-mindedness, and all qualities opposite of the weak, irrational, undecided, emotional, and inferior women. This undeniably proves to be inhibitory and iconoclastic, and positions men within a traditionally defined gender role that thwarts them from realizing their true potentials. Indeed, men have other qualities as human beings, such as tenderness, kindness, and the ability to communicate and understand gender complexities. In her book “The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love,” author Bell Hooks labels patriarchy as “the single most life-threatening social dis­ease assaulting the male body and spirit in our nation.” Hooks’ testimony above invites no further explanation. She makes perfectly clear the idea that patriarchy is not merely a woman’s worst nightmare and feminists’ overarching encumbrance, but it can also be a menacing syndrome that may disturb men and imperil masculinity.

If we are ever going to engage more amply and earnestly in dismantling patriarchy and ending misogyny, sexism, and other hackneyed gender stereotypes, (which is, I believe, part and parcel of “decolonizing the mind”), a tangible involvement of men is mandatory. This is simply because we cannot completely eradicate patriarchy if the men who are most responsible for it—and ironically assaulted by it—are located outside the equation. In that case, the battle against patriarchy apparently becomes merely a woman’s “business” and the bane of her anxieties.

Similarly, the responsibility to attain equal rights and a vigorous and healthy environment for women rests more with men than it does with women. Regrettably, this world is run by and for men. Men control societies that dictate how women are viewed and how they should be treated. For instance, men set the standard for beauty, what is and isn’t socially acceptable for women, and how women should dress and behave, as well as several other unrealistic and sexist expectations and standards that no woman could or should fulfill. A majority of men are either absolutely against feminism and women’s rights or completely lethargic about it, and it should be noted that both these perspectives are dangerous. It is men who created and fashioned this problem in the first place, so it only makes sense that they are essential partners in fixing it.

It is high time to start wiping away the stigma that comes with feminism and looking at feminism not as a concept that makes men uncomfortable, but rather as a social and cultural movement that calls for the betterment of both man and woman. The fight against patriarchy and misogyny is hard enough with so many women being against feminism, let alone the other half of the world’s population. If men would just wake up and see that the patriarchy is just as poisonous to them as it is to women, then they may realize that we all urgently need feminism in this world. In no way does feminism mean vilifying men and holding them blameworthy; rather, it is about building a world wherein both men and women are equal, secure, and valued as human beings, regardless of their biological differences.


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